“This has been the most profound experience of Ubuntu (‘I am because we are’). . .”
A powerful three days of deep sharing and wholehearted listening together with Genderworks at Chrysalis Academy, Tokai. Deep gratitude to the 24 women, men, and friends who engaged in this gender healing work with such courage, compassion, and commitment.
After the intensive and important work of sharing our stories, challenges, and hurts around gender and sexuality, it is vital to shift into a different experiential space together — one that can restore and rejuvenate, and bless and honor one another for all that has been shared.
This is part of the honoring ceremony and commitment that the men created for the women after three days of deep truth-telling and witnessing together.
“Anger – We have heard your anger and acknowledge how some men have reacted in anger and perpetrated injustices towards you. I commit to not allowing my anger to lead me in reacting and engaging as a justification for violence. But I commit to responding with positive process and initiatives to build peace within our communities.
Fear – We have heard and seen the grip of fear and how it has become a normal part of your existence. With this rock we commit to being courageous and boldly being activists towards your safety and the safety of our daughters.
Emptiness – We have heard the emptiness and void and pain and trauma has created in your hearts. The contents of this bowl represents our hearts, empathizing with you and committing towards restoration and wholeness.
Shame – The cloth of shame is not yours to wear. . . together we acknowledge and honor your individual purpose of love and light in this world. And we commit to walk in empathy alongside you, in order for dignity to be restored with a blanket of honor.
Grief – We have heard and acknowledge your loss of hope, your loss of innocence, your loss of identity, through the hands of men. We share in your grief and offer these dead leaves to be buried and used as the driving force of compost, to nurture new life, a new normal, and a new joy, to grow into a mighty tree.”
— Men honoring women at Gender Equity and Reconciliation International workshop at Chrysalis Academy, Tokai with Genderworks in Cape Town, South Africa
What a beautiful offering this was from the women to honor the men after three days of deep deep work together last week in Cape Town, South Africa.
“When I entered into the women’s honoring, I felt like royalty! – I saw the picture of how kings come into their courts, being received and the path being cleared. I was first shocked – like. ‘how is this for me?’
I identified with the women who were offering it, and I was able to receive. I struggle a lot with receiving love, being shown love, being shown care, compassion, and kindness, I even joke it off. But it was so easy for me to receive this gift of the honoring you offered. My eyes were filled with tears when I received this message of gratitude.”
Thanks to With Desireé English, Xolile Pro Zulani, Thuli Mbete, Reuben Piet, Garrett Evans, and Kirsten Cupido for their facilitation of this workshop, and to our partners at Genderworks and Chrysalis Academy, Tokai.