“This provided a platform to me to deeply reflect on some of the wounds I have faced as a man over years, and this is providing me a way and a means to look at myself and face my own healing.”
“My experience has been one of a necessary deconstruction, to make way for what’s healthy and opening up those wounds and making the space to heal.”
Deep gratitude to the 22 women, men, and friends who participated so wholeheartedly in three days of deep truth-telling, listening, and inner process in Gqeberha, Eastern Cape, South Africa. What a profound privilege to sit in circle together and bear witness to the courage, compassion, resilience, and light of the human spirit. The authenticity and honesty of each person’s sharing, paired with the quality of heartful and caring listening from the others, was so deeply moving.
“When I heard the other women tell their stories, and I related to them, I was like, ‘Oh, okay, now, today – 2nd of November 2022 – today is the day of releasing; because you have been given the opportunity to release, the opportunity to be courageous, the opportunity to heal, and to move on.’
When I started talking, I just kind of laid [my story] all out there, and having the men listening was really helping me. It was like, ‘I’m here, I acknowledge you, I hear you’
I got to share how this whole experience, the experience as women sharing our pain, our disappointments, and when the men reflected back, I saw it in them, I saw the vulnerability, I saw they really were sad on our behalf, and I saw how – I promise you – from today onwards, they are going to look at us differently. . .
This was a safe place for me; I didn’t feel any judgement, and I don’t feel ashamed anymore. I see men differently, and was able to listen to them without interrupting, to actually feel their pain. And from all this I am coming away with the healing”
The profound level of truth-telling between the men and women flowered so beautifully into the honoring ceremonies for each other, rich with song, dance, laughter, heartfelt appreciation, and personal commitments to each playing our part in creating a Gender Healed World. As one man shared in his closing reflection, “The past days have shown me that through being open, honest, and digging deep, a Gender Healed World is possible.” May it be so!
Thank you to the collaborators of this event, Genderworks, South African Development Research and Training Institute, EziNgcanjini Rites of Passage Program, and the masifunde learner development Centre, and to the facilitation team, Desireé English, Lesley Thomas, Xolile Pro Zulani, Nosiphiwo Macaula, and Garrett Evans.