A powerful four days together with eighteen women and fifteen men, delving together into the depth of human and gender experience as women and men.
As one woman reflected after,
Men allowed us into their world of gut-wrenching experiences, the yoke of ‘manhood,’ and impossible expectations society insists they must carry—including self-loathing, humiliation, and utter helplessness of watching their sisters and mothers beaten, molested, and sexually abused.
Women invited the men into our lived experience of unspeakable injustices – abandonment, judgement, rape, sexual abuse, loneliness, longings for belonging, the unmatched heartbreak of not being heard, always feeling as if one was speaking to an endless abyss, a void.
While I immensely appreciated the whole retreat, the last day warmed my heart and healed my pain of many years. The women, honoring the men – called each by name and with song and dance blessed them with a prayer.
The men, honoring the women, invited us to a candlelight dance. The floor was decorated with red bougainvillea petals. Each man committed to honor, guard, and respect every woman. This was the first time that myself and other women had been honored for being ‘women’.
Two men,
• apologized for all injustices that men had unleashed on me, and all women;
• asked me to be the guardian and custodian of his promise to protect women.
One bore the name of my brother, the other the name of my son.
This wiped my heart clean of previous wrongs my brother and son had done to me. I realized it’s my responsibility to influence my brother and son on the importance of respect for oneself and humanity.